Big Questions

Big Questions

From The Archives of Rebecca’s Blog. Do you remember when you were first diagnosed? The questions you had? The decisions you had to make? The way your life changed?
AUGUST 31, 2011 ~ Rebecca R.

Big Questions Because, Fibromyalgia

questionsToday I found myself being asked big questions by forces unseen; what was most important to me? Is it the new job I signed papers for today? This job is my first since resigning from Amazon because of Fibromyalgia. Was it school? I started school today, but, I missed it. I was not feeling well, because of Fibromyalgia. Or is it my health? You know, my health, Fibromyalgia?

 


Having a Temper Tantrum, So Sue Me

screaming womanFibromyalgia is, in some ways, micro-managing my life. I am facing questions most people my age don’t have to face. At times, I find it incredibly unfair. At times, it makes me want to throw a temper tantrum. At times, I do. I lay in my bed and thrash my limbs, but not for long. I know it is childish, and I know it won’t get me anywhere. But honestly, it does make me feel a wee bit better. Every now and again it is nice, and maybe even fair to do something that makes me feel better. Since I cannot indulge in alcohol, I cannot go to parties; I can’t even think about staying up late. So, I indulge myself in the occasional temper tantrum when I am home alone and stuck in bed. Sue me.


Getting Chronically Awesome!

Gratitude: The Little Things, The Big Things

thank youBut, there is some good to all of this. I am grateful for and pay attention to things most other people don’t even notice. I know this because I realize now that I didn’t pay attention to them, or appreciate them either. These things that may seem small, like a grilled cheese sandwich, what an amazing taste when feeling ill. Or soft blankets, oh, and on that note, fabric softener.

There are big things too, like my comfy mattress.
And finally, the biggest and most important things that go well beyond those that I can touch and feel. First, my support system. Second, because Fibromyalgia, I am grateful for the days that allow me to articulate in the way that I am doing now.

Fibromyalgia is a new world, a new experience. I wonder where it will take me.

PS: What did we decide was the answer to the biggest question? We decided my health was most important.

 

cabloggersWe are grateful to Rebecca, for sharing her inspiring story. If you have a story to tell simply email your blog in a text, Word, or Pages file to contact@chronicallyawesome.org. You do not have to be an experienced blogger or writer to share your story, we can help, just write! You post will appear here and on our Chronically Awesome Bloggers page. You may also simply visit The Chronically Awesome Bloggers and post your link. We will share your blog (or other ChronicIllnesss related writing) to the page and our Blog Support daily twitter paper.

One thought on “Big Questions

  • Rebecca, thank you for sharing with us the very confusing and scary time of diagnosis with us. That time when we don’t know which end is up. I remember some similar questions. I remember trying to make decisions when I felt like the ability to make my own decisions had been snatched from me. I hope that others come here to share their own story of those questions that are forced upon us when we are diagnosed. 💜 Jules

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